V. Across the Aegean
Over the course of our stay in Rome, I did not pressure Hann to speak further on Randel’s death or their relationship coming to such a premature end. Rather, I figured it would serve us best to afford Hann time to grieve, though the revelation affected all of us to various extents. I was more wary of my surroundings as, after meeting with the Pope, it seemed there were eyes watching my every move through Rome. I had no way to prove my suspicions, but I made sure to be methodical and deliberate in how I went about my business.
We stayed in the city for four days, as Noll recommended when I first made the suggestion to the group. After this time, we reconvened, and managed to gather another couple dozen volunteers to travel with our party. Chief amongst this new cohort were half a dozen flagellants, and they were every bit as strange as Hann informed me.
For starters, not even an hour after we departed Rome, the flagellants began chanting about the Lord in Latin and in unison. The wooden boards they carried with them clapped against their foreheads after each spoken line and thin lines of blood flowed from massive welts on their skin. Everyone else made the unanimous decision to leave these zealots to their fervour. I spoke to the lead flagellant only twice, though this was more than enough to gather information regarding their ambitions and desires.
“We come this way not out of desire,” he started in a thick, Roman accent, “we come with you and this troop for the glory of the Lord. He guides our words and our actions. He bears with Him the wisdom of ages and we, humble and pious servants, follow the decrees handed down unto us through His most loyal. You are a most wise and righteous leader, even if your dedication to Him waxes and wanes in cyclical fashion. Such is a common ailment amongst those less inclined in servitude to Him. We do not see you as lesser, for you follow the path of greatest glory.”
I hoped those flagellants spoke some variation of truth. Knowing I was involved in Randel’s death and Hann’s grief weighed heavy on my heart and my mind. I tried my best to keep my distance from Hann, at least until the moment came when he would approach me. I let out a long and deep sigh as I thought of what I would say to the flagellant leader.
“I cannot help but feel remorse and anger at what occurred with Father Hann. I dread every step I take away from home, knowing my wife and children are at home and we likely will never see each other again. How a man can say he is righteous when he must leave behind those who need him most is something which eludes my mind. A man of true righteousness would not dream of doing such a horrific act.
“I never claim to be anything greater than the man standing you. This sword I carry is but an extension of my own body. I’ve carried this same weapon since my first taste of combat. My first Crusade was when my sire gifted this unto me outside of Constantinople,” I said.
The chief flagellant nodded and passed the board he carried off to one of his disciples. He adjusted the long sleeves of his tattered brown robe. A plain black cord wound around his waist, with his compatriots each possessing a different colouration. Lacing his fingers together, the flagellant nodded off to the side and we moved a short distance from the main group.
“You must forgive me for holding doubt against you. It is quite unlike someone of your status to venture on such a perilous route. Now knowing this is not your first Crusade has me quite curious as to what you encountered on those adventures. We hear tales passed down through the friaries and clergy. None of those tales could hold up to the word of a true soldier. A true man of God. Let me ask you this one question if I might. You met His Most Holy. What is your opinion of our Pope?”
“He isn’t a bad man, though he has an odd way of conducting his business. I can’t say I approve of it, but there is very little I can say. I would not wish to compromise any of us here. I value our mission and our connection to the Lord too much,” I replied.
“Your priest carries burden on his shoulders. We might flay ourselves and torture ourselves to abolish any sin which we carry, but we find ourselves outliers from society. Outcasts and pariahs. Your valued Father is much too valuable for anyone to ignore. Wait not for him to make a movement. Seek to make amends. This is the will of the Lord. We shall not speak again, Crusader.”
True to his word, the flagellant leader bowed his head and made his way back to the head of the column of zealots. My chest raised as I took in a deep breath. The freshness of the Italian countryside flooded into my lungs and cleansed my very soul. Warm rays of sunshine assailed my skin, and I pulled Boomer to heel. Hann was at the rear of the column of religious zealots. He dragged his feet along the cobbled stone leading from Rome. A couple of heads behind Hann were Elric and Noll. The two had developed quite the bond since they started regular nighttime duelling lessons.
“What news do you carry from them fanatics, milord?” Noll said.
“Come now, they aren’t so bad,” I replied.
“I suppose not, milord. Though, their dang chanting gets on the nerves more often than not. Perhaps you bring news of a deal you brokered to free us of their incessant noise,” Noll said with a snort.
“I quite like it, but, but I know my voice means not much,” Elric said.
The incredulous side-eye Noll gave Elric reminded me of a time when I annoyed Amice a few days after our wedding. Like many noble marriages, ours came about as part of a mutual alliance. Her father, a man of great power, desired suitable heirs to pass his estate when he passed, and he cursed God for giving him nothing but daughters. Selling off one’s daughters for rich dowries and rewards was quite common, though all I had to offer was a few pieces of land and a meagre stockpile of gold in my coffers.
“You look to be thinking quite hard there, milord. I’d wager you were imagining your darling wife. I know I miss my old lady sometimes. She passed eight years ago. Some kind of illness befell her. She lost weight and her skin turned yellower with each passing day. By the end she was naught but a layer of skin stretched over her bones. I prayed and I cried for God to offer help, but none came. Fucking son of a bitch, denying me one miracle,” Noll hissed. “Apologies of course, milord. I forsook my faith not long after I lost her. I seek nothing but death now. These fanatics don’t help matters when it comes to dealing with grief and loss. Care to share your feelings, milord?”
The reality of the situation was I did not care to share anything about how I felt, but seeing as how there was little else we could do on our journey, I let out a deep sigh. I had to say something, even if only to break the silence lingering in the air. I ran a hand through the scraggly hairs dangling from my chin. Several knots broke on my thick, calloused fingers. Small scars and scabs criss-crossed my knuckles. All wounds from fighting or training with the group.
“To speak one’s mind is good for the soul. I was, in fact, thinking of the children I left behind. Of my eldest son who I denied the chance to come on this Crusade. My wife is capable and smart and though I love her, she needs guidance from my heir more than I need him in battle. She knows as well as I do I possess no intentions of returning home. Any man here is free to return home should he choose to do so,” I said.
“’The way unto heaven finds itself paved with the blood of a thousand sacrifices.’ To be righteous is to follow in the footsteps of darkness. What waits for us on the other side? The scriptures remain mum on these topics and refuse to elaborate. Many long years have I spent poring through all the texts and passages. I have served as the ear and confidante for countless souls over the years. All the information I have, and I come to the same conclusion day after day. What is the value of one life when weighted against another? If God possesses the answer, he deigns not to reveal it, not even to his most devout followers.
“Is it blasphemy to say such words? Perhaps, but if He does not strike me down where I stand, then he will not strike anyone down! He will strike no man down lest he turn his back from this most Holy of quests. And yet still, I wonder why the Lord dared take my flesh and blood. I pray such an ill fate does not fall upon your family, milord.”
It was difficult to describe the vitriol in Hann’s orotund words as he guided his horse in a short distance from mine. Hann’s voice escaped his throat with a deep rasp and low growl. His beard grew scraggy and wild and unkempt and unwashed hair sat in greasy locks down his shoulders. An unpleasant odour radiated from Hann’s clothing, but he maintained an upright posture.
“I dare say no man here would deign to abandon the cause set before us. I reckon by the end of this dang journey, ain’t no one returning home. Or if he does, he won’t be the same. Already we’ve come to see ourselves change. You have my condolences regarding your child, Father,” Noll said.
Hann’s knuckles turned bone white as his grip on his horses’ reins tightened. A rare fire burned in his eyes and the small muscles along his mandible pulsed and twitched. I placed a hand on my sword and watched with intent at how Hann cycled through a myriad of emotions.
“Enlighten me, if you would be so inclined, Master Noll. Do you have children of your own? Do you understand the pain and the suffering of losing a child?” Hann asked through gritted teeth.
“I learned, many years ago Father, death becomes us all. You seek for truth and value in life through faith. Life will always come to the same ending Father, and it will always be death. I was a young lad when my newborn brother was taken from the world. My parents were good, respectable people who followed the word of the Lord to the letter. And the Lord took their child from them. So, aye, I do know what such a loss entails. Don’t forget the world doesn’t revolve around you, Hann,” Noll said.
Hann’s head dropped and Noll retreated away from our position in the column of men. I released my grip and leaned back in Boomer’s saddle. An ominous wind blew from the east and pushed Hann’s hair from his shoulders. A tear flew from the corner of his eye. I gave a nod to Elric, and he pulled back to find Noll.
“I apologise, milord,” Hann started.
“Don’t. You have nothing to be apologetic for. It may not seem so, but so many of us understand the pain and suffering. The Lord will not hold anything against you, for the process of grief is a long and winding road. Carry yourself with pride, Father. This is what your son would want. He was a brave man. Think of him for what he proved himself to be, and not the end he reached. His memory will live one. This alone I can promise you,” I said.
Hann said no more. He bowed his head and let loose a tear. Not a tear of sadness or loss, but one of joy and acceptance. He needed say no more words, for deep down, we both knew to say anything further would be to diminish the powerful words already spoken. And so we said nothing further to each other until the day we reached Venice and enlisted two galleys to help us cross the Adriatic and Aegean seas.
Rough seas were the least of our concerns as the skilled Venetian sailors guided us between the rocks and high waves of the Adriatic. Of course, the seas were far rougher than any of us experienced before. I spent much of the journey along the Western coast of Greece tucked away in the private cabin afforded to such a man of my station. Much of the time in my cabin I pondered over a map of the known world. Whilst there were many gaps, I knew one day the blank edges of the map would one day fill in and we would see a clearer picture of the world around us.
Jerusalem, on the Eastern bank of the great Mediterranean, was the furthest I made it to the Orient. I knew of the priceless and wonderous treasures which came along the Silk Road, and the vastness of the Caliphates surrounding the Holy Land, but the sheer scope of the lands beyond boggled my mind and it astounded me as to how close England was to the Aegean, at least when compared to the scale of the map before me.
“Really puts shit into perspective when we see it from this angle, don’t it milord? We aren’t small men, but even we are no more than small grains of sand in this world. What do we hope to find out here, milord? You know I follow you not for riches or glory, but remembrance. A man such as myself expects nothing,” Noll said.
“I saw it many long moons before the King approached me. I saw what would happen if we were to undertake this pilgrimage with his soldiers and his army. A storm comes for them. Before they reach the Holy Land, they will suffer the wrath of the Lord. We journey into the Aegean and we will cross the land into Asia Minor for protection and to appease the will of the Lord,” I said.
I knew Noll would sense the non-committal tone in my voice, though it was not his reaction I wanted to bring forth. My gaze wandered past where Noll stood to the shrouded chair in the corner of my cabin. An eerie red glow emanated from Hann’s pipe, and I sensed his eyes narrowing. A bright flash accompanied every inhale, while a waft of smoke followed every exhale. His hair, greasy and long, found itself parted by his nose and his pipe.
“Even the wisest and holiest of men can still fall prey to the will of the Lord. Such is the inevitability of life. I daresay we should not speak ill of the Lord or even in positive terms of Him, for such is the way to draw His focus towards oneself. I admit, I know not what lies ahead, but as for what we expect to find? Speak plain in this matter, milord,” Hann said.
“Since I first returned from the Holy Land, I found myself ravaged by dreams and nightmares,” I sighed and moved closer to the window. The light of the bars crossing the window created a dark cross across my nose and eyes. “I see myself standing there, in full plate, sword drawn and breathing heavy. Across from me, tracked by a cloud of dust and sand, are my foes. Mounted and angry, brandishing their blood-stained scimitars. Some draw their bows. The dream always ends the same. I raise my sword and let out a battle cry as the horde bears down upon me.”
At this point, a rather large wave broke upon the hull of the galley. Foamy water splashed past the cabin window. In the sky, clouds were rolling in from beyond the horizon, darkening the sun with every passing second. The floor beneath Hann creaked as he pushed himself to his feet. He tapped his pipe on the shelf to his left, dumping the half-smoked contents in a smouldering pile.
“You return to the Holy Land for closure, correct?” Hann asked. I nodded. “A noble cause. It is one I can get behind, and perhaps I may find new meaning within this course of action. The Lord provides guidance and mental sustenance, but no defined trajectory in life. It is the will of the Lord for us as humans to carve our own passage and our own legacy. I am sure you know of the stories and the deeds, milord, but man is selfish by nature. Those we remember, they do not predate the Lord, nor can they supersede His will, but they seek naught but glory. A way for the annals of history to recall them many thousands of years down the line.”
I heard the mourning occupying each breath Hann intook. My heart yearned for everything we left behind in England, but more for those we love on each stage of our journey, knowing it was probable we would never see our families again. I reached forward and took a half-empty bottle of wine from the desk. The sweet smell entered into my nostrils as I took a deep whiff of the fruity scent. I had no clue where the beverage came from, but I did not care. I proffered the bottle in the direction of Hann and Noll. Hann reached out first and in earnest.
“Now I better understand why we follow you, Milord. You know I would not ever doubt your leadership, though my role is to ensure those in your service follow your commands. Knowing what I know, this makes my task easier. I promise I shall never breathe a word of this to the men, but I will manipulate my words to give them more purpose and increase their desire through the reduction of fear,” Noll said.
“For certain it cannot be so bad, could it? I see no trace of fear or ill-will in any of those accompanying us. The Lord would guide me to help them if such a thing were to occur,” Hann replied.
“The same Lord who sends us to our doom on this foolish quest across half the known world? I would not trust such a deity even in my dying breaths,” Noll hissed.
“Do not dare speak ill of Him, for you know not what you say. His will dominates all those on this Earth and will forever prove greater than you or I,” Hann said.
“You follow this being even knowing what He would think of your late son. Do not try to hide it, you and I both realise Randel favoured his fellow man above all else. You cannot sit there and tell me such a fact does not bother you in the least,” Noll said, rolling his shoulders back.
I pressed my hands into the table before me, creaking the wood beneath my strength. Hann rose to his feet, a fire consuming the usual stoicism of his eyes. Noll was sizing up Hann, who was doing likewise. The pair took a step closer to the other. Another large wave broke against the ship and a sudden cold filled the air. Noll and Hann both reached for their weapons until I spoke.
“Enough. The first man here who draws his weapon will not live to see nightfall. I will make good on this promise as I will be the man to drag the offender to the deck by his broken jaw. I will tie the rope around his feet and toss him overboard. Then, I will be the one to keelhaul them. Do not mistake my calm demeanour thinking I am a pushover. In all my years as a knight, I have followed my code to the letter. I hold no office beyond my station and were it not for the gratitude of the people who work on my estate, I would be living amongst them. I would sleep in the sties with the pigs. I would clean the stables of the morning. I would work in the abattoir, carving flesh from bone so my people can eat hearty.
“Never for a second do I want people I have handpicked to be on this journey to clash with each other. I chose you as my second in command, Noll. You would do well to remember why. Do not fuck around, for I do not give second chances. And Father, you know why you are here. To bring the word of the Lord and surround us with the blessings and favour of the Church. Sit your arse down and stop acting woeful. By the end of this Crusade, we will have lost everything. You both answer to me, and I am the one who answers the call of the King, of Country, and of the Lord.
“Trust me when I say this, and I shall only say it once – the next time anyone speaks out of line or threatens anyone else, there will be consequences. Do I make myself clear? Nod if you understand. I do not want to hear a single word for the rest of today.”
My voice came out as little more than a seething whisper through clenched teeth. Noll’s eyes widened as he realised how serious I was. His hand dropped from his weapon. Hann lowered his head and shrunk back into his seat when I told him to. Both men nodded their heads with an almost religious fervour at the end of my words. Even the world outside the cabin seemed to come to a total and obedient silence. The howling cry of the wind ceased, and the unruly nature of the sea calmed herself. A single bead of sweat coalesced on the tip of my nose and spattered on the table.
Then, the door to the cabin creaked open. I glared at the space from under my brow where Elric stood. In the sky ahead of the ship, dark clouds gathered and began building a roiling squall. The night would be rough. Elric took one step into the room, and I could not contain my rage for a moment longer.
With an almighty and guttural roar, I swept my arms across the wooden table. Two fist sized indentations marked the wood where I had been leaning on my hands. Noll and Hann both stumbled over themselves to get as far out of my way as possible. I cannot recall seeing fear in the way I saw fear in Elric’s eyes as I flipped the table longways, stomped across the floor and hoisted Elric up by his collar.
“Milord! Calm yourself! Think before you act,” Hann shouted.
A clap of thunder accompanied a long, winding bolt of lightning across the sky. My heartbeat pulsed and resonated in my mind. The redness clouding my vision began to fade as I took in a long, deep breath. The bulging veins and rippling muscles across my body relaxed and I lowered Elric to the floor. Lowering my head, my grip on his collar faltered.
“Forgive me, young Elric. Forgive me, Father. Forgive me, o mighty Lord. I lost sight of what reality is. Tensions are high. Too high. I must think and rest. We will speak once this storm passes. Go. Rest. All of you,” I said.
Hann skirted around me and out the door first, while Noll grabbed Elric by the shoulders and pushed him out of the cabin. Then, Noll took a deep breath and steeled his shoulders again, turning back to face me. Even though I stood a full head taller than Noll, my heart still pounded in my chest. I knew full well how frightening Noll could be for I had encountered it many years back during a skirmish with France.
“You best not forget why you need me and Hann. I ain’t a fucking lackey and I won’t roll over, not for the likes of you or anyone. I’ll make sure no one hears a word of what happened here this time. You ain’t the only one with mercy, milord,” Noll said, his voice reverting to its northern accent.
Noll was kind enough to close the door and I thumped against the wall. My legs weakened and I crumpled to the floor. Tears welled up in my eyes and I buried my head in my hands. The thunder and lightning picked up outside. The pitter-patter of raindrops started a short time later and the wind began howling. The myriad of sounds was enough to lull me to sleep.
I jolted awake the next morning. Sweat glistened throughout the thick, greying hair on my chest. My chest rose and fall with each wave crashing against the hull of the ship. My head pounded and I looked around the cabin. Several books littered the floor and I let out a long groan as I sat up. A bent candle holder lay amidst a cascade of broken glass. The salty smell of the sea flooded my lungs and I looked to the large window at the rear of the ship. Several panels lay shattered, and water flowed through the gaps from the storm raging outside.
I staggered my way to my feet and the desk creaked under my weight as I steadied myself. I followed the sound of shouting toward the door and thrust the doors open. A torrential downpour greeted me beyond the threshold, as did the cacophony of shouting as sailors rushed about the deck. Long mooring lines swayed in the harsh winds, as a myriad of hands attempted to wrangle them. A crack of thunder echoed amongst the dark clouds overhead. I strode out into the middle of the deck and every noise around me merged into a single bombination.
“Captain!” I yelled.
It was Elric who crashed into my right side. I caught him before he hit the ground and kept him steady on his feet. What I noticed was the panic in his eyes, bloodshot and dark from a notable lack of sleep. He stammered out a few words, though I could not make out a single phoneme. I shook my head to try and clear up the homogenised sound filling my mind. I worked hard on refocusing on mind and clearing the fog so I could hear what Elric said.
“Where’s the captain?” I asked.
“Everything’s gone to pot, Milord! The mizzen broke and sent the captain overboard! No one’s giving orders!” Elric shouted.
In this moment, something overtook me which had long sat dormant. An authority unbecoming my usual nature, but one with the power needed to overwhelm nature herself. I stood up taller than I had in the past weeks and pushed my chest forward. Elric stared with wide eyes at the vigour with which I stepped forward. I planted my right foot on the creaking wood of the deck. A deep breath filled my lungs, and I let my inner power loose.
“ALL HANDS TO STATIONS! I SEE A SINGLE MAN NOT CONTRIBUTING, I WILL THROW THEM OVERBOARD MYSELF! GET YOUR ARSES MOVING! DOUBLE TIME! GET THOSE SAILS UNDER CONTROL! ANY PISSPOT IN THE BRIG OR ASLEEP CAN START SHOVELING WATER OFF THIS SHIP! NOLL! HANN! TO THE HELM, NOW!”
Despite the deluge, my voice reverberated off a distant, unseen horizon. Shaky and scared voices replied with meagre affirmatives and the degree of movement on deck increased tenfold. I marched up the aft stairs to the helm where a half-dressed and out-of-breath Noll was already waiting. He gave a sloppy salute, though his gaze turned sour when he lay eyes on Elric doing his best to hide behind my frame.
“Get the fuck out from behind there, boy! Your arse can be helping someone secure a sail or making sure supplies are fucking secured. Move it!” Noll hissed.
Elric stammered something and his feet slipped and scrambled across the drenched wood. A bolt of lightning shot across the sky, accompanied by a rolling clap of thunder. Wind and rain battered me and Noll from starboard. The main mast of the ship groaned and creaked under the immense pressure roaring through its sails. Hann stomped up the stairs behind Noll, not out of anger or frustration, but to ensure he remained planted on solid ground.
“Someone somewhere in this damn sea has angered the Lord. Curse them to the deepest recesses of Hell! We won’t last long like this, Milord,” Hann said, his eyes half closed from the torrent buffeting his face.
“Any idea where we are?” I asked as I moved in close to Noll and Hann.
“Overheard the captain say last night we were rounding the Peloponnese. No idea how far off course this storm has thrown us,” Noll said.
“The Lord tells me we need to head North. The Thracian capital should serve us well enough. This is a flood from the Lord, designed to eradicate the wicked and prevent the sinful moving further east,” Hann said.
“Making landfall west of Constantinople places us right where the bastard Barbarossa is leading his men. We would do well to avoid going near the Emperor,” Noll said.
Barbarossa. Despite our earlier sojourn through the heartland of the Holy Roman Empire, we avoided the Emperor’s forces by virtue of being a step behind them. And I did not fancy having to cross them after the murmurs and whispers inside of Rome of the sheer ruthlessness his men carried themselves with. However, even I knew our ship could not make it as close to Constantinople as I wanted.
“Is the risk worth it?” I asked.
“Utter ruination lays to the East, and our salvation is to the North. I know the soldiery have their pride and their dedication, but this is a matter where Faith will reign supreme. I will be the first to place my head at the end of your sword, Sir Noll, should we encounter ill-tempered foes. But I beseech you, and you, Milord, you must listen. My counsel in dire situations has always gotten us free of danger.
“And yes, my heart does yearn for the loss of my son, but the tale of his time on this Earth came to me in a dream not two nights ago. A dream the Lord saw me ready to encounter, and I hold no ill-will toward any man past, present, or future for Randel’s loss. But now the time comes to make the decision, Milord,” Hann said.
“What say you?” I looked to Noll.
Without skipping a heartbeat, Noll’s eyes met mine and he spoke. “Take the risk, Milord.”
“So be it. TURN SAIL NORTHWARD! LET THE WIND CARRY US!” I yelled, then nodded to Hann.
“Hear me, my flock! Fear not the cold dark! Let not this dreary squall dominate your minds! Think of the gifts He grants to us! Look to your wives and to your children. Look to your fathers and mothers. Sisters and brothers. Let their faces be what guide you through all turmoil before us! Your strength comes from those around you! Do not falter, find your feet, and defeat this evil!”
Noll followed me as we made a beeline for the central mast. Hann stood by the helm, delivering an emphatic sermon, his voice spurning the wind and forcing the rains to acquiesce to his mighty words. Perhaps the most motivated by Hann’s words was Addy. He stood by the mast, using all his might to hold the capstan in place, preventing a large portion of the foresails from catching the wind. Noll took position in front of him and I moved in the opposite side.
“Get the fucking ratchet fixed, Addy!” Noll shouted.
Addy nodded, and released his grip, grateful to be able to breathe. Noll and I began to step in unison, our combined might enough to overcome the billowing of the foresails, and we hoisted them higher with each step. Another seaman ran to help Addy, a large piece of iron in his hands. They finagled the metal into position and the notches of the capstan started to click-click with each position lock.
“Move!” Addy yelled and threw his body into mine.
I lost my balance and landed hard on my back against the deck. It was anger which first flashed through my body, then as I sat up, I saw what transpired. Addy and the seaman who helped him with the capstan found themselves pinned against the mast by various pieces of wood. Several lengths of rope wrapped around their limbs, with blood flowing free from deep gouges. Noll sat up on the opposite side of the mast to me, and he saw the same scene.
Noll and I both scrambled our way to the mast. I first tried tugging at the rope wrapped around Addy’s left leg. The saturation of the water made it impossible to find a grip. Noll had similar issues, and it was he who looked over Addy’s shoulder at me and shook his head. My heart deflated, and I dropped to the ground, burying my head in my heads.
“It was an honour, Milord,” Addy said, straining.
I turned my head to his, not bothering to hide my tears.
“No, no the honour is all mine. You are braver than most men your age and such is a trait none can take from you. I owe you my life,” I said.
“You are a champion amongst men, Milord. With pride, I would stand by your side until the very end. I give my life, so I might be welcome in the halls of valour. I came along this quest to redeem the honour of my family, but I found a new family. One whose honour ranks higher than all the glory in this world,” Addy spoke, but each word came slower and slower.
“‘In death, life springs eternal. From life, comes glory. No greater glory, than death,’” Noll whispered.
Addy tried to give a smile, but pain wracked his body and he grimaced. He reached out with a bloodied hand. I wrapped my fingers around his, pulling them in for a gentle kiss. The howling of the wind died down, and the torrent of water eased up. I closed my eyes as a tear fell onto Addy’s fingers. Addy breathed his last breath and his head dropped.
“Thus it transpires another kind soul passes from this world. The Lord accepts Addy into his embrace and He now grants us passage, but only to the North. Let us take a moment to remember the short, but powerful lives led by those no longer with us. Gather up what belongings you can of theirs and we shall send them off with full honours,” Hann said.
The next hour was a sombre one as my men and various seamen gathered up the dead. I worked on freeing Addy’s mangled body from the undignified position he was in. The storm still raged behind us, as the occasional rumble of thunder showed, but nothing came closer to us. Emotion flooded across the ship. By the time we managed to gather up everyone we lost, fifteen bodies lay before us, piled into one of the few remaining longboats.
“Blessed be these souls, now taken into your embrace, O Lord. Shepherd them to their place by Your side, and let the world not forget their great deeds. Let not their names pass into darkness nor fade from memory. We who gather here owe our lives to the bravery of these men, and we look now to you, Lord, to protect us going forward. Let those gathered here herald these men in song and may they find succour in the feasts of the angels this coming night. They rest in peace so we might live. Blessed be their souls and their journey. Amen,” Hann said.
From the raised aft of the ship, I watched with bated breath as the storm faded beyond the horizon. A half dozen men lowered the longboat into the sea, a makeshift offering surrounding the bodies within. The salty breeze itched small scratches on my face. My weight caused the banister to groan under my white knuckles. Noll let out a heaving breath next to me.
“We can’t save them all, Milord,” he said.
“I know.”
“We won’t forget them, either.”
“Forget? No,” I said and turned my head to Noll. “I can sure as hell make sure they are remembered.”
Noll sighed. “Ain’t no changing your mind, is there?”
“No, but you already knew this was a one-way trip. Still, you decided to come. Why?”
Noll’s creased forehead aged another decade as he closed his eyes. The still-soaked wisps of hair on his head showed the heavy burden he shouldered each day. Skinny, wrinkled fingers bristled through his beard and his weary eyes gazed off into the distance.
“It’s hard to let go of the past, we both know this. We carry demons and evils deep inside us. Are we innocent? No. We carry more guilt between us than an entire village would across three generations. Sins of the past. This is why we are here. And, well,” Noll turned to smirk at me. “Some old fuck has got to watch your back.”
We both started to chuckle. Soft at first, but rising to a hearty, uproarious resonance. I had a feeling it would be the last time I would get a chance to enjoy any modicum of peace. I never anticipated how right I was.
Fenrir's Lair 
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